“I’m a lone wolf.”
These were the words I used to describe myself in a recent coaching session. “Tell me more about that?” asked the coach. As a solopreneur, I work for myself and by myself. I don’t have a team. It’s just me. I’m a lone wolf. As I talked some more, I realized that my comment was less about working alone and more about feeling lonely and missing my friends. For so many years, I was so focused on building a business that I had little time to play and little time for friends.
As I thought about reaching out to my friends my inner gremlins showed up and filled my head with doubts. “Have I lost my friends?” “Do they even want to be friends with me?”
I reached out to some of my long time friends in spite of the gremlins. In this day of texting, messaging, and email, it felt novel and “old school” to talk on the phone. As my friends answered the phone, the familiar voices washed away any fears the gremlins tried to plant. It’s crazy the destructive thoughts we have that are absolutely not true. Each friend had missed me as much as I had missed them. It felt good catching up and sharing stories, laughter, fears, and successes. We promised each other to not let so much time to pass before we reconnect again.
In the weeks after connecting with my friends, I happened to bump into this TED talk where Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda talk about female friendships.
What resonated the most were the observations on the deep spiritual and meaningful connections that we have in our women friendships. We get vulnerable, we are honest with each other, we support, and we celebrate. With our dear friends we know that we can show up and not be judged for being who we are. We are loved and accepted. We are listened to and enjoyed.
Can we have meaningful online relationships?
I recently attended a women’s conference and during the lunch session a woman stood up and shared her thoughts on technology and meaningful connections. She didn’t believe that you can make and nurture relationships using technology. In the break after lunch, I struck up a conversation with her and learned that she had a background in technology. Her work was focused on using technology where there was little personal connection happening. I told her about my work leading online experiences where women from all over the world gather in my monthly workshops to create and connect. Her eyes lit up with curiosity as I told her about a wonderful way that technology is being used to make meaningful connections.
Magic is happening…
Something quite magical is happening in my online workshops. Synchronicity strikes again and again when participants pull the oracle card from the envelope that I send them in the mail or when they get a message during the Soul Journey meditations. Each workshop includes a presentation with some activities followed by free time to explore the theme creatively. Some work in a journal, others create collages or mandalas. My favorite part is during the Show & Tell, where I’m always amazed by the deep sharing. Participants feel safe to open up. As we gather in this circle, we witness insights, hopes, fears, and strengths in each other.
For many who are brave and show up for the live sessions, they get hooked and come back month after month. I love getting to know each participant and to see what’s happening in their lives and how their magical stories are unfolding. For some who are too shy to be seen on video camera, they feel connected by watching the recordings.
Finding Your Tribe
I’ve heard from many participants how each month they look forward to these workshops as they don’t have friends who live close by or the people they interact with don’t share their creative and soulful interests.
Working with the Heart Chakra
In the last two months, I’ve been working with the heart chakra and have seen how it has brought an ease and grace to my relationships. Softening, gentleness, loving-kindness are some of the words to describe how I am, not only with others, but also with myself. It comes as no surprise that working with the heart chakra has supported me in reconnecting with my friends and soothing the lonely wolf’s heart.
Two Questions for You
- What do you look for in your friends?
- What do you do to keep your friendships vital?
What I know for certain is that it’s worth the time to nurture the friendships that are important to me.
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In the featured photo above, you’ll find the two beautiful wolf cards from these decks: