chakra, journal, musings

Chakra Journal: Softening the Wall of the Heart

Have you built a wall around your heart?

To explore this idea of the walls I’ve built around my heart, I created a couple of mandalas using my heart chakra stencil.

disappointment
shame
fear
lack ~ feeling not enough
resentment, jealousy
abandonment
hurt feelings

These are some of the bricks that can form around the heart. It happens in little moments when careless words are exchanged in haste or in highly charged moments. It can happen in the big moments when losing a loved one or facing financial troubles.

The walls are built to protect us from reinjuring these old hurts and from getting new ones.

This last week, my husband and I experienced a lot of tension and hit a breaking point. Some feelings that I’d been holding in erupted unexpectedly like a volcano and my words spewed like hot lava. Poor guy. His reaction was natural to run the other way. While my feelings needed to be heard and understood, I felt shame that I couldn’t be more adult or enlightened in my delivery. Triggers do that, they flip a switch when we least expect it and a big bright light shines on something that has been hidden in the dark.

Withdrawing, shutting down, not talking, escaping to another room, or leaving the house are all ways we get space to cool down and get perspective. But, there comes a time when we need to bridge the gap between the divide of two tender hearts.

While facilitating a heart chakra retreat this weekend, I asked myself, “What’s the wall that I build around my heart?” and “How can I bridge the gap between my walled heart and my husband’s?” and “I know love is the answer but what does that look like?”

It looks like leaning in rather than walking away, listening in place of talking, hugs, whispering “you are loved”, gifts of food (F. touched my heart yesterday when he brought home popovers for breakfast. Bakery treats are a good peace offering in my book.) and showing up rather than hiding in projects, work, reading a book, or watching YouTube videos.

To explore this idea of my heart walls, I created a couple of mandalas using my heart chakra stencil.

In the first mandala pictured above, the center six-sided star and inner ring of lotus petals were colored in a light pink that reflects the delicate and gentle quality of the heart. Surrounding that center point, I considered black for the dark feelings of isolation I feel when I build my wall, but I chose a dark brown rich color like fertile soil waiting for me to plant my seeds of love and understanding.

The red around the inner petals was for the passionate feelings that get stirred up. The outer ring of lotus petals were colored in an emerald green that’s typical for the heart chakra and look like leaves. I see the dark green leaves with the little yellow seeds as the many ways we grow when we open our hearts. The hearts around the outer edge are all the different people who are part of my circle who want to connect.

Standing in the center of this circle it’s hard to see past the bricks and see all of the loving support that surrounds me. It feels so isolating and alone when we build our walls.

There are many gifts of the heart chakra – forgiveness, self-compassion, self-love and most importantly loving whatever arises. I’ve come to realize just how central love is in healing all manner of wounds be it physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual.

Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

rumi

When we feel heartbreak, the pain we feel may be coming from our walls breaking not our hearts. The way I see it, our hearts are always whole and full of love ready to heal the wounds within our walls.

In the second heart chakra mandala, I used more of the soft pink. Wavy lines filled with pinks convey the gentle wave of love that transformed the bricks. Little flowers have sprouted in the outer lotus petals, each one representing new beginnings, new perspectives, and new ways of being in my life. Looking at the outer ring of hearts and you’ll see how they all have golden wings. When we open our hearts and connect with others, they’re able to open their hearts. For the healing that we do, opens up others to do their own healing work.

Here’s a look at my chakra journal with the two heart chakra mandalas on the left and on the facing page a pocket where I tuck in pages of journal writing about my inspirations and insights.

Everyday Gratitude - Inspiration for living life as a gift
Turning walls into bridges.

Synchronicity Strikes! Each morning, I start my day with a “morning retreat” and recently added a new practice of reading one page a day from the book, “Everyday Gratitude.” After I created the second mandala this morning, I reached over to the little book and turned to today’s quote and question.

Walls turned sideways are bridges.

Angela Davis

Can you believe this? This happens to me ALL the time. As I go through my day, little signs with meaningful connections to what I’m thinking about cross my path. While this has been happening most of my life, I get giddy and awestruck every time it does. The question on this page really is brilliant and so fitting…

How can I begin turning some “walls” in my life into “bridges?”

Everyday Gratitude: inspiration for living life as a gift
a network for grateful living

I’m already seeing more heart chakra mandalas in my future inspired by this quote and question.

I love the work that I get to do. On Friday and Saturday I immersed myself in the heart chakra for 12+ hours as I facilitated three Heart Chakra Retreat sessions and basked for hours afterward working in my journals and on my art. Each of the three heart chakra sessions were different in dynamics, energy, and personality and all filled with rich meaningful connections and loving supportive energy for what participants needed.

Each time women gather in circles with one another, the WORLD HEALS a little more.

Quote found in mantra wellness magazine

In the retreats that I host, it’s really clear how the healing that we do truly does heal the world. As we focus on our energy in the chakra retreats, we raise the vibration and heal ourselves. This energy is also felt by those around us.

It’s also the stories that we share with each other that’s so healing. We see ourselves mirrored back, we pick up new and different insights, we are heard and our wisdom appreciated. I love the circling up in real time with women from all over the world.

Belonging and meaningful connections happen every time we circle up. Do you long for this kind of heart-centered connection?

My Goddess Course and Chakra Workshops are two opportunities waiting for you!

Perhaps you’d like to make some heart chakra art using my stencils? I love how the stencils get the mandala on the page in minutes so I can spend more time focused on adding colors, patterns, and reflecting on where I’m at in my life in the moment and what truly needs my attention. It’s become a lovely spiritual practice. Get your chakra stencils here.

Now, back to my first question in this post, “Have you built a wall around your heart?”

I’d love to hear your insights and inspirations.

From my heart to yours,
Kathryn Costa
Instigator of Soulful & Creative Living

2 thoughts on “Chakra Journal: Softening the Wall of the Heart”

  1. Dearest Kathryn,
    Your bravery and courage of sharing your heart-felt process and journey is so inspiring.
    Thank you for the blessings you bring to my life.
    Love and soul hugs
    Linda

    Like

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