Summary: Creating this mandala marked the moment I began emerging from the haze of grief. What looks like a wonky mess of a mandala became a gateway, awakening my creativity and my spirit.

Grieving the loss of my parents, who passed away within ten months of each other and the estrangement of my only child, left me in a haze. Life became a series of tasks: work, paying bills, and eating. I slept more than I ever had, retreating inward. A year later, during a visit with a friend, a creative spark reignited. She introduced me to watercolor painting, a medium I’d never explored. While she tended her garden, I sat on her deck, brush in hand, and started to experiment in my journal.

Those first brushstrokes were more than just paint meeting paper—they were an invitation to play, free of expectation or judgment. I found myself drawn to deep blues blended with Payne’s Gray. The name of the paint, so close to the word “pain,” resonated deeply with my grieving heart.

One of my early creations was a mandala. It’s far from symmetrical, yet it holds immense power and meaning for me. It marked a turning point, a rekindling of my creativity. Within five months, I embarked on the 100 Mandalas Challenge, and soon after, I wrote the proposal for what became The Mandala Guidebook.

Journal Entry: June 8, 2014

“I haven’t been seeing hearts as I once did. For months I have been a bit down, like the air was drawn out of me. Yesterday hearts started to appear again and now I am seeing so many. I believe the heaviness that I’ve been feeling in my heart for my son Loki has been lifted. 

I’m intrigued with the Jungian practice of mandala making. As I made this mandala I started with the heart. I thought how at the center in my core is love. As I worked more details in I saw the band of hearts around the inner circle as my loved ones – friends and family – who show such love and support. I found as I was drawing the lines around the half circles that I felt uncomfortable with the outer boundary. 

It is interesting that the shape is not perfectly circular. It really reflects how I feel myself pushing the boundaries of where I am in my work life. The little circles around the heart are like seeds, each one holding potential – projects, skills yet to learn, new experiences, new relationships. 

When I look at this mandala I am reminded to center myself in my heart and not to forget that I can always tap into the healing and transformative power of love. I am loved and I am love. I am grateful for knowing this.”

Reflective Questions:

• What is emanating from me today?
• How can I be more loving and kind?

Join Me on a Mandala Journey

Discover the transformative power of mandalas through stories, creative projects, and workshops:

• Start Your Journey: Pick up a medium, begin at the center, and let shapes and colors flow intuitively.
• Learn Techniques: Watch my videos for step-by-step guidance.
• Dive Deeper: Explore The Mandala Guidebook for inspiration and insights.
• Create Together: Attend an upcoming event to connect and create with others.

Together, let’s explore how creativity can heal and transform.
(((soul hugs))
Kathryn Costa
Instigator of Soulful and Creative Living