I often talk about my Virgo nature—she plays a prominent role in my natal chart. But equally important is Leo, my sun sign. Leo holds a special place in my heart and shines through my jovial playfulness. I’ve often been called a kid at heart because I love to laugh, and hearing laughter in others warms my soul. Of all the Leo traits, the one I’ve always had in spades is creativity.

Well, maybe not always.

The Nature of Creative Cycles

Like the moon, creativity moves in cycles. Over the years, I’ve experienced long waves—sometimes as long as five years—when I was lit up with inspiration, producing a large body of work, including a book. Then, inevitably, the tides would turn. These creative low stretches often followed major life changes: the deaths of my parents, an empty nest, divorce, or starting a new corporate job. Some cycles lasted years; others, just months.

Only recently did I come to understand another layer of these rhythms. With my diagnosis of Bipolar II, I began to recognize that the troughs were more than just “low energy.” They were episodes of depression. I used to refer to these times as being dormant, hibernating, or walking the shadowlands, unsure if I’d ever find my way back to the light of creativity.

Experience has taught me to trust these cycles. The spark does return.

Naming the Experience

During my training with the brilliant Jill Badonsky in creativity coaching, I discovered I wasn’t alone. Many creatives ride these waves. Jill’s work offered tools and strategies for moving stuck energy and reigniting the creative flame. But I also learned that sometimes, we aren’t meant to push through. Sometimes, the best medicine is rest.

My most recent five-year dormant period eventually led to my diagnosis. The turning point came when my stepmother died. A dam within me broke. Alone in my home with only my two cats, I laid in bed and howled—an instinctive, guttural sound that seemed to come from the wildest part of me. Was this what Clarissa Pinkola Estés meant when she wrote about the women who run with the wolves?

In the days that followed, I couldn’t speak without stuttering. My head twitched, and my hand flopped uncontrollably. Inside, my mind was racing—thoughts leaping from one memory to the next, insights firing like lightning across the sky. I couldn’t finish a sentence without being hijacked by a tangential idea. I remember wishing I could see a scan of my brain—it must’ve looked like fireworks.

Eventually, I checked myself into a behavioral health unit. That week was the start of my healing. After discharge, I was lucky to find a supportive care team at the Comprehensive Collaborative Care. Together we dialed in the medication that would ground me. And from that grounded place, something vital returned: the longing to create.

The Return of Fire

At the end of that year, I gifted myself two quiet weeks at home over the holidays. I rested. I listened inwardly. And slowly, creativity stirred within me again. I picked up my pen. I returned to my art table. I fired up my computer.

This time, I’m managing my energy with more awareness. I’ve taken vacations and attended retreats that support the balance between work and creative life. I’ve been having a blast overhauling my website, exploring astrology, making art, and sharing my journey through blog posts, online events, and heartfelt conversations.

It feels good to be back.

Continue Exploring

Traveling by Moonlight – Explore lunar practices blending astrology, Tarot, chakras, mandalas, and creative reflection.

Full Moon & New Moon Zodiac Calendar– Download this creative guide to moon rituals.

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